Scooter Save Christmas
Scooter good dog. Scooter also excited dog! Today Christmas Eve. Scooter love Christmas! Scooter is 21 years old. That is 3 in peeples years. Christmas only happen once every Peeples Year. Scooter not remember Scooter first Christmas. Scooter was just puppy! Scooter do remember last two Christmas. Scooter remember gifts! Scooter remember treats! Scooter remember food! Scooter remember Santa!
Scooter love Santa Claus! Scooter see Santa Claus every year. Is true!! Dogs can see Santa. Santa has Magic Powers. Peeples not see Santa because of Santa Magic Powers. Magic Powers not work on dogs! Dogs not bark at Santa. Is same reason dogs chase cats. Dogs always chase cats. Do forever. Dogs not bark at Santa. Do forever. Just is.
Scooter can’t wait for Santa to come. Santa always share cookies with Scooter. Grandpappy put cookies out for Santa! Scooter hear Grandpappy say to Granny.
“Dear, set aside a half dozen chocolate chip cookies for me.”
“Why?” say Granny “You’ll get fat.”
“I’m already fat, and besides they’re not for me. They’re for Santa.”
“Yeah. Santa. Who are you try to fool? We don’t have little kids anymore. You eat the cookies every year. Why not just cut out the middle man and eat them straight from the cookie jar, like a normal person?”
“I don’t eat the cookies” say Grandpappy. “You’re up before I am every Christmas, and you eat them.”
“Whatever. They are gone when I get up.” continued Granny
Grandpappy and Granny talk back and forth like this for awhile, but Scooter not understand. Last Christmas and Christmas before Scooter and Santa eat cookies! Scooter love cookies!
Grandpappy comes out of kitchen with plate of cookies and sit it on table.
Scooter love Santa Claus! Scooter see Santa Claus every year. Is true!! Dogs can see Santa. Santa has Magic Powers. Peeples not see Santa because of Santa Magic Powers. Magic Powers not work on dogs! Dogs not bark at Santa. Is same reason dogs chase cats. Dogs always chase cats. Do forever. Dogs not bark at Santa. Do forever. Just is.
Scooter can’t wait for Santa to come. Santa always share cookies with Scooter. Grandpappy put cookies out for Santa! Scooter hear Grandpappy say to Granny.
“Dear, set aside a half dozen chocolate chip cookies for me.”
“Why?” say Granny “You’ll get fat.”
“I’m already fat, and besides they’re not for me. They’re for Santa.”
“Yeah. Santa. Who are you try to fool? We don’t have little kids anymore. You eat the cookies every year. Why not just cut out the middle man and eat them straight from the cookie jar, like a normal person?”
“I don’t eat the cookies” say Grandpappy. “You’re up before I am every Christmas, and you eat them.”
“Whatever. They are gone when I get up.” continued Granny
Grandpappy and Granny talk back and forth like this for awhile, but Scooter not understand. Last Christmas and Christmas before Scooter and Santa eat cookies! Scooter love cookies!
Grandpappy comes out of kitchen with plate of cookies and sit it on table.
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Old Brighton Courthouse, 2009
“Are you coming to bed?” say Grandpappy. “I’m tired and we have lots to do tomorrow.”
“Yes. I’m tired, too.” Reply Granny. “And I have to be up before you to start the turkey”
“And to eat the cookies” say Grandpappy, but not loud.
“What was that?” say Granny.
“Nothing.”
Grandpappy and Granny go to bed. Scooter usually sleep in Granny bedroom, too. But Scooter decide to sleep in living room tonight. Scooter have to make sure Eve, or Enzo, or Madie don’t steal Sco, I mean, Santa’s cookies. Scooter find nice spot beside tree and lay down. Scooter tired too. Soon Scooter sleep.
Scooter wake to sound of someone yelling.
“Come back here you, &$!@#%* cat!” yell Man.
Scooter still part sleep. Scooter is almost bark, when Scooter realize it is Santa Claus! Scooter is excited! Scooter get cookie! Then Scooter remember Santa was yelling! Scooter wonder why Santa yell. Scooter also wonder why Santa say bad words. Is not like Santa to cuss. Scooter walk outside.
Scooter is surprised. Scooter should not be outside. Doors closed. Windows closed. How Scooter just “walk” outside? Scooter confused. Scooter confused like time Scooter go to other Brighton and see Del killed. (See “Scooter Meets a Hero) But, Scooter not worry about that now.
“Did you see that %^$&%# cat!” Santa yelled.
This not good. Santa is happy man. Santa laugh. Santa say “Ho Ho Ho”! Santa do not cuss.
“ That cat took the Daedalus Charm!” exclaimed Santa
“Yes. I’m tired, too.” Reply Granny. “And I have to be up before you to start the turkey”
“And to eat the cookies” say Grandpappy, but not loud.
“What was that?” say Granny.
“Nothing.”
Grandpappy and Granny go to bed. Scooter usually sleep in Granny bedroom, too. But Scooter decide to sleep in living room tonight. Scooter have to make sure Eve, or Enzo, or Madie don’t steal Sco, I mean, Santa’s cookies. Scooter find nice spot beside tree and lay down. Scooter tired too. Soon Scooter sleep.
Scooter wake to sound of someone yelling.
“Come back here you, &$!@#%* cat!” yell Man.
Scooter still part sleep. Scooter is almost bark, when Scooter realize it is Santa Claus! Scooter is excited! Scooter get cookie! Then Scooter remember Santa was yelling! Scooter wonder why Santa yell. Scooter also wonder why Santa say bad words. Is not like Santa to cuss. Scooter walk outside.
Scooter is surprised. Scooter should not be outside. Doors closed. Windows closed. How Scooter just “walk” outside? Scooter confused. Scooter confused like time Scooter go to other Brighton and see Del killed. (See “Scooter Meets a Hero) But, Scooter not worry about that now.
“Did you see that %^$&%# cat!” Santa yelled.
This not good. Santa is happy man. Santa laugh. Santa say “Ho Ho Ho”! Santa do not cuss.
“ That cat took the Daedalus Charm!” exclaimed Santa
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The Armory-Brighton Cultural Center, Christmas 2009
“Everybody thinks it’s the reindeer that makes sleigh fly. It’s not. It’s the Daedalus charm. The reindeer are their for pulling the sleigh on the ground and to steer, in the air. They can’t fly with help from the charm!”
Then Scooter look up on house and see eight reindeer and Santa’s sleigh! Grandpappy not happy when Scooter poop on Grandpappy patio. Grandpappy have fit if reindeer poop on Grandpappy roof.
“I have to get that charm back or I’ll never get moving?” continue Santa “Do you know what that means? No Christmas presents for all the good boys and girls. No coal for the naughty ones. Homeland Security will detain me for weeks trying to figure out how I got into this county without a passport, and the FBI will throw a fit when they try to inspect my gift bag. They’ll never get it open! I can just see me trying to explain that ‘I’m really Santa Claus.’ Christmas could be over, forever! How in the name of Rudolph’s red nose am I going to catch that cat, and get the charm back?”
Then Santa look down and notice Scooter.
“Hello, Scooter! How have you been?” start Santa
Scooter woof.
“Look I know about the bikini incident, pooping on the patio, digging up the flowers, and snitching food from the table. How about you use that nose of yours to help old Santa out, and we put your name on the GOOD side of the ledger? What you say? I love my reindeer but they are useless for tracking”
Scooter think Scooter already on “GOOD” side. But, not argue with Santa
Scooter woof in agreement. Scooter sniff air. Scooter can smell cat. Scooter hate cats. Cat evil. Is true! Cats not aloof. Cats not arrogant. Cats not misunderstood. Cats evil! Cats have most humans fooled. Cats do purr thing. Cats snuggle. Is act! Cats evil. Scooter has heard cats talk about taking over the world. Cats want everyone to be their slave! Scooter live next door to one of evilest cats. Scooter not surprised this cat steal Santa flying charm. Is exactly thing cat would do. Scooter will find cat!
Then Scooter look up on house and see eight reindeer and Santa’s sleigh! Grandpappy not happy when Scooter poop on Grandpappy patio. Grandpappy have fit if reindeer poop on Grandpappy roof.
“I have to get that charm back or I’ll never get moving?” continue Santa “Do you know what that means? No Christmas presents for all the good boys and girls. No coal for the naughty ones. Homeland Security will detain me for weeks trying to figure out how I got into this county without a passport, and the FBI will throw a fit when they try to inspect my gift bag. They’ll never get it open! I can just see me trying to explain that ‘I’m really Santa Claus.’ Christmas could be over, forever! How in the name of Rudolph’s red nose am I going to catch that cat, and get the charm back?”
Then Santa look down and notice Scooter.
“Hello, Scooter! How have you been?” start Santa
Scooter woof.
“Look I know about the bikini incident, pooping on the patio, digging up the flowers, and snitching food from the table. How about you use that nose of yours to help old Santa out, and we put your name on the GOOD side of the ledger? What you say? I love my reindeer but they are useless for tracking”
Scooter think Scooter already on “GOOD” side. But, not argue with Santa
Scooter woof in agreement. Scooter sniff air. Scooter can smell cat. Scooter hate cats. Cat evil. Is true! Cats not aloof. Cats not arrogant. Cats not misunderstood. Cats evil! Cats have most humans fooled. Cats do purr thing. Cats snuggle. Is act! Cats evil. Scooter has heard cats talk about taking over the world. Cats want everyone to be their slave! Scooter live next door to one of evilest cats. Scooter not surprised this cat steal Santa flying charm. Is exactly thing cat would do. Scooter will find cat!
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Cat scent is still strong. Cat scent is all around. Scooter walk back and forth sniffing air. Scooter find direction cat scent get stronger and follow. Santa walk behind Scooter. Scooter walk south past where Evil Cat live. Scooter think this strange. Evil Cat always run home when Scooter bark or chase Evil Cat. Scooter follow nose. Nose tells Scooter keep go this way. Scooter and Santa cross street. This strange! Evil Cat does not usually go this far. But Scooter follow nose. Scooter and Santa keep go south.
“Are you sure about this Scooter?” ask Santa “I though cats mostly stayed close to home. They’re spoiled pampered little beasts.”
Scooter woof and keep going. Scooter nose say turn southwest at end of road. Then Scooter nose say turn southeast at next road. Scooter go this way in summer! This when Scooter go for ride with Nice Lady (See “Scooter Go to Jail”) Scooter wonder what Evil Cat is doing. Nose tell Scooter to south on Memorial Trail. Scooter start to run now! Evil Cat is near! Santa try run, but Santa fatter than Grandpappy and not run fast. Scooter run very fast!
Scooter see Evil Cat! Evil Cat is perched on big rock. Evil Cat has something in mouth. Then Evil Cat put Something on big rock and jump down. Evil Cat not see Scooter! Scooter not understand. Evil Cat has good hearing. Scooter run fast. Scooter run on concrete. Scooter make noise. Evil Cat walk off trail. Evil Cat walk towards drainage canal. Evil Cat lean down to drink. When Evil Cat start to drink, Evil Cat jump up! Evil Cat hear Scooter! But Scooter is very close! Evil Cat no time to run. Scooter stop and snarl and growl at Evil Cat! Evil Cat hiss at Scooter!
“Stoopid Dog!” hiss Evil Cat “What are you doing? Let me pass! I have work to do for my new friend!”
Grrrrrrrrrrrr. Scooter not know what Evil Cat talking about. Evil Cat look beside Scooter at top of rock. Scooter know what Evil Cat is thinking. Evil Cat want to get Something and run away. Scooter not let this happen! Scooter move between Evil Cat and Big Rock. Scooter growl and snarl very loud. This all warning Evil Cat get. Evil Cat will either leave or Scooter and Evil Cat will fight! Evil Cat has sharp claws. But Scooter is not afraid. Evil Cat is afraid.
Evil cat hiss at Scooter and then run back towards Santa. Santa see Evil Cat and try to catch. But Evil Cat is much too fast and darts past Santa.
“Are you sure about this Scooter?” ask Santa “I though cats mostly stayed close to home. They’re spoiled pampered little beasts.”
Scooter woof and keep going. Scooter nose say turn southwest at end of road. Then Scooter nose say turn southeast at next road. Scooter go this way in summer! This when Scooter go for ride with Nice Lady (See “Scooter Go to Jail”) Scooter wonder what Evil Cat is doing. Nose tell Scooter to south on Memorial Trail. Scooter start to run now! Evil Cat is near! Santa try run, but Santa fatter than Grandpappy and not run fast. Scooter run very fast!
Scooter see Evil Cat! Evil Cat is perched on big rock. Evil Cat has something in mouth. Then Evil Cat put Something on big rock and jump down. Evil Cat not see Scooter! Scooter not understand. Evil Cat has good hearing. Scooter run fast. Scooter run on concrete. Scooter make noise. Evil Cat walk off trail. Evil Cat walk towards drainage canal. Evil Cat lean down to drink. When Evil Cat start to drink, Evil Cat jump up! Evil Cat hear Scooter! But Scooter is very close! Evil Cat no time to run. Scooter stop and snarl and growl at Evil Cat! Evil Cat hiss at Scooter!
“Stoopid Dog!” hiss Evil Cat “What are you doing? Let me pass! I have work to do for my new friend!”
Grrrrrrrrrrrr. Scooter not know what Evil Cat talking about. Evil Cat look beside Scooter at top of rock. Scooter know what Evil Cat is thinking. Evil Cat want to get Something and run away. Scooter not let this happen! Scooter move between Evil Cat and Big Rock. Scooter growl and snarl very loud. This all warning Evil Cat get. Evil Cat will either leave or Scooter and Evil Cat will fight! Evil Cat has sharp claws. But Scooter is not afraid. Evil Cat is afraid.
Evil cat hiss at Scooter and then run back towards Santa. Santa see Evil Cat and try to catch. But Evil Cat is much too fast and darts past Santa.
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“C’mon Scooter! Get’m!” yell Santa.
Scooter does not move. Scooter bark at Santa. Scooter bark and jump on rock. Big Rock is too high for Scooter. Scooter bark and jump and dance around Big Rock. Santa run to Scooter.
“Is it here, boy?! Did you get it?” asks Santa hopefully?
Scooter bark and dance. Scooter is not a pointer so Scooter do Scooter best to tell Santa where Something is. Santa smart! Santa look on top of Big Rock.
“The Daedaulus Charm! You did it, Scooter!” yell Santa.
Santa look at his wrist.
“Good, We’ve only lost about 10 minutes. I can make that up, by just taking a few cookies instead of eating them all in the houses. Let’s get back!”
Scooter is about to walk ahead of Santa to lead Santa home, when Santa touch Scooter head. Then all of sudden Scooter is home! Scooter look up at Santa. Santa grin at Scooter and say.
“Old Santa still has a trick or two up his sleeve. Let’s go inside and take care of the presents”
Scooter and Santa walk inside. Scooter is confused again. Scooter take two steps and Scooter inside. Scooter not remember going through door. Scooter look back and door is closed. Santa not seem notice. Santa already finished with presents and is looking at cookies.
“I left a little something under the tree for you. Now how about we tackle the cookies?”
Scooter woof.
Scooter does not move. Scooter bark at Santa. Scooter bark and jump on rock. Big Rock is too high for Scooter. Scooter bark and jump and dance around Big Rock. Santa run to Scooter.
“Is it here, boy?! Did you get it?” asks Santa hopefully?
Scooter bark and dance. Scooter is not a pointer so Scooter do Scooter best to tell Santa where Something is. Santa smart! Santa look on top of Big Rock.
“The Daedaulus Charm! You did it, Scooter!” yell Santa.
Santa look at his wrist.
“Good, We’ve only lost about 10 minutes. I can make that up, by just taking a few cookies instead of eating them all in the houses. Let’s get back!”
Scooter is about to walk ahead of Santa to lead Santa home, when Santa touch Scooter head. Then all of sudden Scooter is home! Scooter look up at Santa. Santa grin at Scooter and say.
“Old Santa still has a trick or two up his sleeve. Let’s go inside and take care of the presents”
Scooter and Santa walk inside. Scooter is confused again. Scooter take two steps and Scooter inside. Scooter not remember going through door. Scooter look back and door is closed. Santa not seem notice. Santa already finished with presents and is looking at cookies.
“I left a little something under the tree for you. Now how about we tackle the cookies?”
Scooter woof.
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“Six Chocolate Chip Cookies! My favorite! Normally, you only get one and part of another, because chocolate is bad for dogs. But, I think Santa can do something about the theobromide.”
Scooter see cookie glow for split second and then Santa say
“How many do you want, boy? Forget it. I already know. You can have them all. I get plenty through the night anyway. Be sure to share!”
Scooter look at plate of cookies as Santa set them on the floor. Santa is right. Scooter do want all cookies. Scooter not understand anything else Santa talk about. Scooter not care. Scooter look up to thank Santa, but Santa is gone! Scooter run over to window and see a streak of light in sky. Scooter not see Santa. Scooter is sad. But only second. Scooter remember cookies! Scooter would have forgotten part about sharing, except Madie, Enzo, and Eve hear Santa and come to see. Scooter good dog. Enzo, Eve, and Madie get one cookie. Scooter get three! Now time to go sleep. Scooter is tired from running. Scooter go lay down in Granny room. Scooter fall asleep wondering what Evil Cat mean when Evil Cat talk about “New Friend.” Maybe Scooter find out one day.
Next thing Scooter hear is sound of Granny getting up. Scooter get up with Granny and help Granny with turkey. Granny not appreciate Scooter help. Her tell Scooter to stay out from under her feet and go lay down. Scooter not care. It Christmas! Scooter walk over to tree and lay down. Granny walk over. Granny pet Scooter. Granny stop pet Scooter and say;
“What is this? I don’t remember this present. It’s for you, Scooter!”
Scooter lift up head
“Wiiiiiiiii-yum!” Granny yells.
Scooter can hear Grandpappy groan “Now what.” But, Granny no hear.
Grandpappy come into room, and say “What is it, dear? It’s 5 in the morning.”
“Where did this present to Scooter come from?”
“I don’t know” say Grandpappy “Who does it say it’s from?”
“It says it’s from Santa.” say Granny
“Mystery solved. I’ll be in bed waiting for the sun to come up.”
As Grandpappy walk away, Granny say
“He thinks he’s funny. Well, I don’t see presents for the other dogs, and I don’t want them to get jealous. So, we are going to open it now.”
Granny tear paper off of box and open box.
“He’s lost his effin mind.” say Granny “ Look at this! Your Grandpappy has made you a cape with both your own “WonderDog” and the TravBuddy logo, on it! I’m gonna have to have his head examined.”
“Does he think you’re a superhero? Maybe you fly at night and help Santa” laughs Granny. “You be sure to write a North Pole blog now, Scooter?”
Scooter just look at Granny.
“It’s kinda cute, though. What say we try it on?”
Scooter see cookie glow for split second and then Santa say
“How many do you want, boy? Forget it. I already know. You can have them all. I get plenty through the night anyway. Be sure to share!”
Scooter look at plate of cookies as Santa set them on the floor. Santa is right. Scooter do want all cookies. Scooter not understand anything else Santa talk about. Scooter not care. Scooter look up to thank Santa, but Santa is gone! Scooter run over to window and see a streak of light in sky. Scooter not see Santa. Scooter is sad. But only second. Scooter remember cookies! Scooter would have forgotten part about sharing, except Madie, Enzo, and Eve hear Santa and come to see. Scooter good dog. Enzo, Eve, and Madie get one cookie. Scooter get three! Now time to go sleep. Scooter is tired from running. Scooter go lay down in Granny room. Scooter fall asleep wondering what Evil Cat mean when Evil Cat talk about “New Friend.” Maybe Scooter find out one day.
Next thing Scooter hear is sound of Granny getting up. Scooter get up with Granny and help Granny with turkey. Granny not appreciate Scooter help. Her tell Scooter to stay out from under her feet and go lay down. Scooter not care. It Christmas! Scooter walk over to tree and lay down. Granny walk over. Granny pet Scooter. Granny stop pet Scooter and say;
“What is this? I don’t remember this present. It’s for you, Scooter!”
Scooter lift up head
“Wiiiiiiiii-yum!” Granny yells.
Scooter can hear Grandpappy groan “Now what.” But, Granny no hear.
Grandpappy come into room, and say “What is it, dear? It’s 5 in the morning.”
“Where did this present to Scooter come from?”
“I don’t know” say Grandpappy “Who does it say it’s from?”
“It says it’s from Santa.” say Granny
“Mystery solved. I’ll be in bed waiting for the sun to come up.”
As Grandpappy walk away, Granny say
“He thinks he’s funny. Well, I don’t see presents for the other dogs, and I don’t want them to get jealous. So, we are going to open it now.”
Granny tear paper off of box and open box.
“He’s lost his effin mind.” say Granny “ Look at this! Your Grandpappy has made you a cape with both your own “WonderDog” and the TravBuddy logo, on it! I’m gonna have to have his head examined.”
“Does he think you’re a superhero? Maybe you fly at night and help Santa” laughs Granny. “You be sure to write a North Pole blog now, Scooter?”
Scooter just look at Granny.
“It’s kinda cute, though. What say we try it on?”